WTF: Prom edition

One of my favorite high school dances was sophomore year homecoming. Around a half-dozen of my girlfriends and I didn’t have boyfriends, prospects or, really, any desire to have a date that evening. We all dressed up in our formals, went out to dinner and then went to the dance together. We danced with each other, with other people’s dates (we weren’t on the prowl, just dancing with friends) and had a really, really good time.

For me it was liberating. I didn’t feel out of place, I was able to be myself and, more than anything, the amount of fun I had that evening wasn’t contingent on some guy.

This story perplexes me. No prom for junior girls who choose to go stag. Bring a date, the principal says, or don’t come. Huh? The kicker is that it’s an all girls Catholic school! It’s not as if boys are readily available for the asking in the hallways between classes!

Odder still, no reason is given as to why the new rule has taken effect one week before prom. The principal has told the students not to speak with the press and he’s told the press to get off the property. His lack of explanation leads me to believe that he was terribly jilted at his own junior prom and is thereby taking it out on the junior girls. What a sad, pathetic little man.

Someone, remind me again, what’s that P word?

Define beautiful

Oh my lord.

Newly released (on Mother’s Day!) is a book to “help dispel a child’s fear” when Mommy has plastic surgery. The books title? My Beautiful Mommy.

I’ve only seen six pages of the book but what little I’ve read and seen makes me feel kind of sick.

Mommy is getting tummy tuck even though pre-surgery she’s already walking around with a trim belly. She’s also getting a nose job due to a slight bump. Mommy imagines herself a beauty queen as she tells her daughter she won’t just look different- but prettier! Mommy’s plastic surgeon* is a hunky beefcake. His assistant is a perky boobed Barbie wannabe.

I’m all for being honest with children but come on! The plastic surgeon cum author couldn’t focus on the basics- what will happen before, during and after surgery? Talk a little about how Mommy might have some bruises or be in pain? Offer some reassurances that Mommy will be okay? Not so much. Why the hell write about that when Mommy is so obviously smokin’ after her slice and dice? And don’t forget the hunky hero surgeon! What a genius!

Ugh. Spare me.

Dr. Salzhauer may have earned the benefit of the doubt- if for nothing else than 20% of the book’s profits go to charity- except I went to his website. Apart from the fact that the site objectifies women, propels the idea of a perfect body, etc., etc. because, (and yes, I know, the guy is just doing his job) it also appears that this guy (or his partner in the practice) consented to a nose job on a child!

There’s this word I’m thinking of…someone help me…it starts with a “P.” Hmm…

2nd Annual Foreign Language Day!

A comment by Reina in this post led me to recall this post over at the old site that ultimately led to the 1st Annual Foreign Language Day. I’m nearly two months late in celebrating but celebrate we shall! In honor of the folks who feel that ‘Merican is the best and only language that should be spoken here (or anywhere else), we will thumb our collective noses and speak any language we want…except English.

This year we have three categories:
1. Pick-up lines.
2. Placing an order in fast food restaurants.
3. The weirder the better. The wild card category.

But, tonks, I hear you whine, I don’t speak a foreign language.

Never fear! The Google Translation Gadget is here! If that doesn’t work, e-mail (tonksblog@gmail.com) me your phrase and preferred language and I’ll use the nifty mac translator.

10 reasons I’d rather vote for Nader than Clinton

10. Ridiculous gas tax “holiday.” And her insistence that economists who have declared the idea dumb are “elitists” (i.e. all of them).

9. The word “elitist” getting tossed out whenever anyone disagrees with her. Inigo Montoya once said “You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.”

8. Her vote for the war in Iraq.

7. The experience claim. Trips with Sheryl Crow and Sinbad don’t count. She claims 35-years experience (with no real proof) but only has four more years in the Senate than Obama.

6. Mocking Obama during his stump speeches. If you have to resort to middle school tactics (no doubt encouraged by her sleezeball campaign team- Mark Penn, Howard Wolfson et al ) then you must not have much to offer.

5. Her open threat that we would “obliterate” Iran. With what fucking army? Way to dig that hole! Our country has endured 8-years of a trigger happy president. Four more and we’ll be completely fucked.

4. Loves lobbyists and Wal-Mart. Isn’t D.C. corrupt enough?

3 (tie). a. “As far as I know he’s not a Muslim.” Seriously? Even if he WAS a Muslim (and he’s not) should it matter? Just because someone is a Muslim it doesn’t mean they’re a terrorist. Christ! Way to fear monger, Senator Clinton! Yeah!

b. The 3 a.m. phone call ad. If she’s so quick to fly off the handle (see #5) I sure as hell don’t want her answering that phone.

2. Her insistence that the Michigan and Florida delegates should be seated as is. Isn’t this cheating?

The number one reason is pretty much the one that put the nail in the coffin of any hope of my voting for Clinton.

1. The sniper fire in Bosnia claim. My father did two tours of duty in Vietnam. As he put it, “You don’t forget being under sniper fire.” That outrageous lie was so unnecessary and so disrespectful to war veterans and the men and women fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq who have encountered sniper fire, IED’s and other direct, violent threats to their lives. Plus she didn’t just lie about it once, she did so on several occasions. Shame on YOU, Mrs. Clinton. You won’t be my president.

Well, duh

Is anyone surprised by these study results? I maintain that it’s because Wingers are too self-consumed to give a damn about anyone else. That or they’re just ignorant. Other theories?

What if Wednesday: slacker edition

What if you could take a chore you despise doing and make someone else do it? What undesirable task would you foist on someone else?

For me it’s a toss-up between laundry (stupid! stupid! stupid!) and cleaning my house (daily). Since I really, really hate laundry, if I had to make an irreversible choice right this second, I’d have to go with that option.

This calls for a hot fudge sundae

Sadness in the ice cream world.

If you’re peeing and you know it clap your hands (clap clap)

If you’re peeing and you know it clap your hands
(clap clap)
If you really need to pee
And it’s running down your knee
If you’re peeing and you know it clap your hands
(clap clap)

Hard to believe, but I made that song up all by myself. I’ve sang it a lot today.

Thus far the potty celebration is off in a big way and, let me tell you, my day has kind of sucked.

10:30 a.m.- Haul the kids all the way to my parents house so they can watch JP while I take SG to the movies

11:02 a.m.- Arrive at the dollar theater (thanks to the economy it’s now the $2 theater). They’re closed. Online it said they were playing the Spiderwick Chronicles at 11:30. On the marquee it says 4:45.

*sigh*
Neat.

11:05 a.m.- Call my parents and ask them to check the paper for me. There’s another theater playing the movie at 2:00. By their house. Grr…

11:35 a.m.- Arrive home. SG is asleep. She sleeps for an hour. I get nothing accomplished.

12:42 p.m.- Sitting on the bathroom floor while trying to convince SG to go potty. I sing the aforementioned song. She laughs but there’s no pee.

12:53 p.m.- My mother calls to ask that, since I’m heading out there anyway, could I please drop shoes* and socks off for JP? Sure. I’ve got nothing better to do and God forbid he go outside barefoot.

*sigh*
Crap.

1:20 p.m.- We finally leave. We’re late.

*sigh*
Dammit.

1:47 p.m.- Drop shoes off at my parents

2:03 p.m.- Arrive at the movies. They haven’t started it yet. Through most of the previews SG and I are the only ones in the theater. Score!

3:44 p.m.- SG announces she needs to go potty. “I had a lot of Sprite,” she exclaims. We run (literally) to the bathroom.

3:50 p.m.- We’re still in the bathroom. SG is sitting on the toilet naked. I’m squatting on the floor beside her. I am not sitting on that floor.

3:56 p.m.- I can only squat so long. I sit on the floor.

4:00 p.m.- I’ve been really patient. “Potty or we put on a diaper,” I tell her. She loudly let’s me know how much she doesn’t want a diaper.

4:10 p.m.- SG is on the verge of tears because her tummy hurts- but she really wants to wear underwear. I convince her that it’s okay to wear the diaper. Her underwear is slightly wet (or, as she calls it, “drips”) and even though her dress is clean, she did spill a little Sprite on it which she is convinced is pee, so we change her whole outfit.

*sigh*
Fine.

4:14 p.m.- We go back to the theater. The movie is over. SG begins to cry.

4:15 p.m.- I find the theater manager and ask if he can replay the last 20 minutes of the movie. He tells me he’d like to but it’s just not feasible. We’re welcome to come back, at no charge, to see the end. JP has t-ball practice so that won’t work. I thank him (he really was nice) and take a weepy SG out to the mall.

4:17 p.m.- Call my mom to ask if it’s okay if I run by the children’s store while we’re there. No problem.

4:18 p.m.- At my mother’s house JP is bubbling his Ginger Ale and gets it everywhere. I get yelled at. And told to buy him some clothes because he’s “soaked.”

*sigh*
Shit.

4:25 p.m.- See a cute dress for myself (on sale!) and decide to try it on.

4:27 p.m.- The dress makes me look short and dumpy. SG wets through her diaper, through her shorts and onto the dressing room floor.

*sigh*
Holy hell.

4:32 p.m.- Clean up the mess, get SG out of the wet diaper and shorts and throw a fresh pair of underwear on, undress and re-dress myself, call apologies to the store clerk as we’re leaving the store. My daughter, by the way, is wearing a t-shirt and underwear in a mall that’s known for attracting some not-so-desirable clientele.

*sigh*
Fuck.

4:35 p.m.- Stop in the first store I see that sells children’s clothing and buy a dress for SG. At 60% off it still costs $20.

*sigh*
Double fuck.

4:40 p.m.- See another (considerably less expensive) children’s store and buy two new pairs of shorts and one new t-shirt for JP. All three together are $15. Between the new clothes, candy, ticket, popcorn and drink, this day nearly cost $60. That doesn’t even count the amount of gas I’ve sucked up driving all over the damn city.

*sigh*
Fuckity fuck.

4:55 p.m.- Arrive back at my parents’ to pick JP up. My mother is in a mood. On a normal day I would ignore it and be cheery. Today, I throw attitude right back at her. Her mood worsens. “What the hell did I do?” I ask. “I don’t like the way your acting, ” she snaps. “Bite me,” I think. Instead I retort, “I don’t like getting yelled at for something my kid did when I wasn’t even here.”

*sigh*
Goddammit.

5:01 p.m.- Mom offers lots of love to the children as we leave while I get a dismissive good-bye.

5:20 p.m.- Arrive to t-ball practice 10-minutes early.

*sigh*
Will miracles never cease?

6:47 p.m.- We get home. Finally. It’s a fend for yourself kind of dinner. SG has cereal. JP has ham and cheese roll-ups. Mr. Tonks has leftovers. I don’t eat. I’m too irritated to eat.

8:47 p.m.- The Tonklings are in bed. The day of ridiculousness is over. The Mama’s patience is completely spent.

Tomorrow…we get to do it all over again.

*sigh*
Good Lord.

Will wonders never cease

I’m taking SG to see the Spiderwick Chronicles this morning.

Why, you may ask, are you schleping all over town to take a 3-year old to see a movie that will come out on DVD in six-weeks? Because. She went potty on the potty.

Granted, it wasn’t much and it was only because her diaper had contorted into a wedgie that resulted in her peeing a little on the floor. BUT! She’s been trying really hard these past few days so I feel like we’re on the road to full time success. I hope so. Please, God.

Regular readers, rejoice! With any luck this will be the last potty training post.

BPA (the big one)

First, for anyone who’s been led here by a search engine, I want to reiterate the following:
1. Go read the Pitch Weekly article. Very informative.

2. BPA is something to be very concerned about- despite what the plastics industry and company representatives want you to believe.

3. I’m not a scientist. I’m not an authority on plastics. I’m not a doctor. I’m just a mom who’s pissed and worried and therefore don’t have all the answers- just research results. 

Key points about BPA
No amount is safe- 

A cubic millimeter of a chemical is a milligram, which is a relatively large amount. If you take one thousandth of that, you have a microgram, which is visible to someone with excellent eyesight. (It’s the smallest particle a human eye can resolve.) If you take one of those microgram particles, waft it onto the floor, step on it and grind it into a thousand more particles, you have nanogram particles, which are invisible to the naked eye. If one of those nanogram particles floats into the air and lands in a 1-liter container of liquid and dissolves there, it creates a solution that, in the case of bisphenol A, will stimulate human breast-cancer cells in a cell culture, causing the cancer cells to proliferate.

The studies that state BPA is safe are conducted by the plastics industry and are conducted in a manner to result in their desired outcome (i.e. BPA=safe) and have been widely discredited.

Frederick vom Saal offers this little nugget, with regards to BPA: ”Stay away from food packaging in plastic. Put no plastic in any kind of heat, specifically in the microwave,” he offers. “Virtually anyone we know who knows about this has really changed their lifestyle. And these are very simple things to do. It’s not a crisis, not using canned products,” he says of the fact that bisphenol A is also used in the lining of aluminum cans. “If you drink beer, drink it out of a glass bottle instead of out of a can.”

Hints and tips
Plastics with the the numbers: 3, 6, and 7 should be avoided. Throw them away. So-called “safe” plastics are numbers 2, 4, and 5.

If the product is a clear, hard plastic that mimics glass, chances are very good that it contains BPA.

Avoid canned food and beverages; instead opt for fresh, frozen or glass jars/ bottles as the linings of cans may contain BPA. 

If you’re unsure about a product, call the company. I’ve found that they will likely avoid using the term BPA. Instead they opt for “polycarbonate.” If it’s a polycarbonate it’s virtually guaranteed to contain BPA. If they give you the run-around or become combative (believe me, they will) chances are that a) they know they’re doing something wrong and b) at least something in their product line contains BPA.

Products by company
Avent- Contains BPA and the company has no intentions of changing that. They “stand behind” their product. Think twice before purchasing anything from Avent or its parent company, Phillips.

First Years- Their baby bottles contain BPA. They also “stand beside” the FDA and Plastics Council and have no intentions of eliminating the use of BPA. They’re also real dicks to to talk to on the phone.

Gerber- a mixed bag. Here’s the list of products that DO contain BPA: NUK and Comfort Hold bottles. Transition cups, Fun Starter/ Fun Grip cups and NUK Trainer Cups (see the cups here). Gentle Flex and Natural Flex and the handles and faceplates of some NUK pacifiers. Please note that there website is not up to date and if you want to learn more about BPA containing products you must call them: 1-800-443-7237. They will tell you there is nothing wrong with BPA. They lie.

MAM- Pacifiers contain BPA and, like Avent, they have no intent of changing that. Avoid MAM.

Melamine- Not sure on this one but am researching it.

Munchkin- Some of their products contain BPA, including bottles and pacifiers. Click here for a complete list of products and what they’re made of.

Sassy- Sassy, oddly enough, is the parent company of MAM (see above) and none of its feeding products contain BPA. 

Playtex- This company will cease selling products containing BPA by year’s end. Here is the list of their BPA-free products.

Tupperware: This blog is extremely informative about Tupperware and has extensive dealings with the company. Scroll to the bottom of this post for a list of Tupperware products and what they contain. Good luck finding any information from Tupperware or their website. Their secrecy is, quite frankly, frightening.

Safe(r) products
Go Baby Life
Happybottomus
It’s Only Natural
Soft Landing
Whole Foods- they sell a line of BPA free bottles and sippy cups and these awesome aluminum water bottles
-Cookie magazine has a list of BPA free products.
-Z Recommends has a very comprehensive list here.

Empower yourself- articles to read
“Plastics 101“- Cookie
“Plastic Attack“- Pitch Weekly ***a must read***
“BPA Alternatives…” Kansas City Star
“Toxic Shock“- Cookie
“Canada Bans BPA From Baby Bottles” -Washington Post
“FDA Takes A Look At BPA” (third article down)- Washington Post

My two cents- for what it’s worth
Plastic is composed of chemicals. I don’t care what recycling number appears on the bottom, it’s composed of chemicals. Our house is very gradually going to plastic-free as much as possible. It’s not going to be easy at first but I figure we’ll get used to it and soon it will be second nature.

The companies maintaining BPA is safe piss me off and, quite frankly, I have no intentions of purchasing their products- BPA or no. The fact is that these companies have known for years about the potential health risks and they’ve known for years that it’s the most vulnerable people in our society (infants, toddlers, children) that are most likely to suffer due to BPA…and they could care less.

I strongly, strongly encourage you to ditch any products in your home that might contain BPA, especially if you have children. It just isn’t worth the risk.

 

If you still have questions or something you want to share, comment or e-mail me: tonksblog@gmail.com. Thank you to everyone who has e-mailed me articles, information, etc.