I’d really rather you didn’t
November 10, 2009
I got some grief over on FB* for lamenting SG’s desire to be a cheerleader for Halloween next year. IMHO there are multiple problems with that particular sport**:
1) I have a real issue with the lack of clothing involved and don’t want my daughter prancing around (at any age) wearing next to nothing.
2) It seems a lot of routines involve gyrating, grinding and dancing suggestively. Again, I’d rather my daughter not do that.
3) Along those lines, the objectification and sexualization of girls and women is vile.
4) It’s entirely anti-feminist and anti-empowering to tell young women that girls should stand on the sidelines and cheer on the boys. I’ve been to quite a few girls’ basketball and soccer games in the last few years and you sure as hell don’t see boys (or girls) cheering them on.
5) It’s dangerous and there are far too many injuries involved that are life changing and/or life threatening (and, before anyone asks, I will strongly discourage my boys from football or wrestling for the very same reason).
6) “Because it’s cool” is not a good reason to be involved in anything.
7) I do not agree with the emphasis cheerleading places on meeting societal standards of what it is to be pretty/ thin/ attractive. When was the last time you saw a fat or ugly cheerleader? For that matter, how about a cheerleader without a stitch of make-up on her face?
And finally…perverts and sexual deviants. Enough said.
For what it’s worth, if SG really, really wants to be a cheerleader, I won’t stop her. Oh sure, she’ll get an earful about gender normative behavior, feminism and my lecture about being a tool of the patriarchy. And, once it’s off my chest and rolling about her brain, I’ll be there for every game, every function, smiling, taking pictures and keeping my mouth shut (while dying inside).
*I’m just lazy enough to have listed almost this entire post from that thread. Yeah, that’s how I roll.
**Cheerleading is definitely a sport. The girls (and boys) involved are athletes through and through, I just don’t understand why they have to look like a damn Barbie (or Ken) doll to do it.
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1.
Laggin | November 10, 2009 at 9:47 pm
I am with you on this one. I actively worked against my girls being cheerleaders and I don’t think they were ever really aware of it. I rolled my eyes at cheerleaders and let them know I didn’t think a lot of it…but I mean I ACTIVELY worked against it.
I’m not sure Eldest remembers this, but when she was in 5th grade and still a gymnast and dancer she was invited to be in a cheerleading group because she was flexible, capable of gymnastics, was cute as a bug’s ear and she was tiny. They wanted her to be their flier. Yup. They wanted to toss her in the air and have her flip around and trust that other 5th graders would catch her.
How many ways can you say, “Hell no!”
I just made up some excuse about too expensive and we didn’t have time on that particular night, yada yada. It worked.
2.
Laggin | November 10, 2009 at 9:49 pm
P.S. I did let them be Nebraska cheerleaders in dresses I made for them one Halloween. They were 1 and 2. They were pretty much in red jumper dresses, white turtlenecks and carried pom poms.
3.
2starmommy | November 11, 2009 at 7:25 am
Stick to your guns on this one! You are absolutely right on all counts!
(As a side note, I wish people would remember there are perverts everywhere when they dress their preschoolers in the morning! No, it really isn’t cute to see them in a mini and boots just like mommy!)
4.
j0lt | November 12, 2009 at 7:59 am
I’m with you on this one. I was appalled when I learned our local rec league had sign-ups for cheerleaders as young as 5. WTF? The soccer moms I know who also have girls in cheer spend their days fretting over whether the cheer uniforms will get a stain on them, costing them a TON of money if they can’t return the uniform in pristine condition at the end of the season. As a result, they end up reinforcing that whole “nice girls don’t do real play that might get them muddy” thing. yuck.
5.
delagar | November 12, 2009 at 10:06 am
Mr. delagar had an entire class once composed almost entirely of cheerleaders — something about how it fit their schedule — and since then he has lectured me frequently on how smart cheerleaders are, how disciplined they have to be, how cheerleaders win scholarships & are physically fit, and I could recite this speech in my sleep by this point. Hotness is BESIDE THE POINT. (He claimed.)
OTOH, I’ve had cheerleaders write me essays and you are absolutely right: the injury level is appalling (much higher than most sports), the demands put on their time and their bodies are fierce, and cheerleaders get no respect for what they do. Unlike, say, football players, who are lionized in our culture, cheerleaders are treated like jokes and sluts. So even though I sort of agree with mr. delagar that cheerleading is an under-respected sport, I would never let any kid of mine near it.
Not to mention, yeah — its ultimate purpose? Scantily clad Barbie-shaped women leaping around shrieking praise for every tiny thing the sweaty men are doing? WTF?
6.
Tree of Knowledge | November 12, 2009 at 3:34 pm
I have a lot of athletes in my classes, and the students on the cheer team get far more injuries than the rest combined. And our team is a multiple national championship winner in their division, so they are really serious about everything. But, that doesn’t undo the years of “go team” stereotypes they have to endure to get to that serious level of competition and that the danger they face once they arrive at that level. If was treated like any other sport, it would be different, but it’s not. I mean, #5 on the list is the only one that can possibly be shared by the male cheerleaders (who overwhelmingly write me essays about how male cheerleader does not equal gay).
7.
anna | November 12, 2009 at 8:37 pm
This is an interesting thought . . . and I think it can be a pretty complex. I actually tend to sort of joke about my own brief history as a cheerleader, mainly because I enjoy the shocked replies I get when I mention it [surprise that I did it]. At the time yes, it was “cool.” But shortly thereafter I grew out of the desire and since have been amused by it. But it seems to me to be a perfectly legitimate sport for those who actually would enjoy it. My brother did it for a year just for the fun of it.
It definitely has a great potential for negative ramifications, perhaps more so than other sports. But even the more “innocent” ones, like the cross country running I did, have similarly dangerous potential effects, I reckon . . .
Ah well, sometimes I’m relieved to not be dealing with such issues as a parent. Kudos to you, Tonks, for caring so much about your lucky kiddos!