I’d really rather you didn’t

I got some grief over on FB* for lamenting SG’s desire to be a cheerleader for Halloween next year. IMHO there are multiple problems with that particular sport**:

1) I have a real issue with the lack of clothing involved and don’t want my daughter prancing around (at any age) wearing next to nothing.

2) It seems a lot of routines involve gyrating, grinding and dancing suggestively. Again, I’d rather my daughter not do that.

3) Along those lines, the objectification and sexualization of girls and women is vile.

4) It’s entirely anti-feminist and anti-empowering to tell young women that girls should stand on the sidelines and cheer on the boys. I’ve been to quite a few girls’ basketball and soccer games in the last few years and you sure as hell don’t see boys (or girls) cheering them on.

5) It’s dangerous and there are far too many injuries involved that are life changing and/or life threatening (and, before anyone asks, I will strongly discourage my boys from football or wrestling for the very same reason).

6) “Because it’s cool” is not a good reason to be involved in anything.

7) I do not agree with the emphasis cheerleading places on meeting societal standards of what it is to be pretty/ thin/ attractive. When was the last time you saw a fat or ugly cheerleader? For that matter, how about a cheerleader without a stitch of make-up on her face?

And finally…perverts and sexual deviants. Enough said.

For what it’s worth, if SG really, really wants to be a cheerleader, I won’t stop her. Oh sure, she’ll get an earful about gender normative behavior, feminism and my lecture about being a tool of the patriarchy. And, once it’s off my chest and rolling about her brain, I’ll be there for every game, every function, smiling, taking pictures and keeping my mouth shut (while dying inside).

*I’m just lazy enough to have listed almost this entire post from that thread. Yeah, that’s how I roll.

**Cheerleading is definitely a sport. The girls (and boys) involved are athletes through and through, I just don’t understand why they have to look like a damn Barbie (or Ken) doll to do it.

Is YOUR representative riding a bobsled straight to hell?

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I’m sure it’s pure coincidence that the House members who voted against the health care bill also receive the most campaign contributions from the health care industry. Of course it is! The 23.3% of people in Joe Barton Linus‘ (R- TX) district who don’t have access to affordable, quality healthcare certainly understand that the nearly $2.8 million Rep. Linus received from the healthcare industry has nothing to do with his “no” vote and everything to do with him doing what’s best for his constituents.

I have a pointy head

I think. Maybe not pointy, per se, but longish. I haven’t had bangs in years. I gave up on them awhile back because a severe cowlick on the front right side of my head makes it impossible for short bangs to lay properly. But, I have a pointy head and I’m thinking of cutting long, sweeping bangs so that it breaks up the length of my face. Thus, I hide (what I perceive) what I don’t like (long face, high forehead) while still working within the confines of what god gave me. Also, “long sweeping bangs” sounds very glamorous. And, hey, who couldn’t use some glamour?

Perfect

This is the e-mail I just sent to the child psychologist. Feel free to weigh in.

Dr. C-

Last week we had JP’s parent-teacher conference and for the most part he’s doing beautifully in first grade. Generally speaking he’s above grade level in all academic aspects, is engaged in class and participates. However there have been some issues with other boys bullying JP (the teacher is addressing this) but I think JP is bringing on some of it himself, so to speak, because he’s crying in class. If JP gets lost on a worksheet, doesn’t understand something, gives the wrong answer, etc. he becomes very frustrated and embarrassed and begins to cry. His teacher, Mrs. N, is at a loss as well. She says she tries not to offer a ton of sympathy when he begins to cry in class and instead will just quietly ask him how crying fixes anything and tries to get him to come up with ways to remedy the situation that are actually productive. She says she’s gotten to the point where she won’t call on JP unless his hand is raised and she’s confident he knows the answer because she doesn’t want him to start crying. At his school Halloween party I witnessed for myself just how upset he can get. The crying embarrasses him as well because he sits there silently, tears streaming down his face and he turns his head away from the rest of the class.

His need for perfection and to be the best is baffling to me because Mr. Tonks and I certainly don’t put a ton of pressure on him- all we ask is that he try. The conference last week brought to light another issue we’ve had at home with JP being completely unwilling to do any extra curricular activities. We’ve offered music lessons, playing a variety of sports, art classes, swim lessons, hip hop classes, etc. and he wants no part of any of it. I had erroneously figured he didn’t want to participate because he’d rather hang out at home but now I think he’s worried about failing and since he doesn’t know how to do some of those activities, he would rather not do it at all than risk not succeeding.

Dr. C, I don’t know how to help him or what to do. It is immensely frustrating and scary for me because the need for personal perfection was one of my very worst personality traits. I’m terrified of JP going to some of the extremes that I did once I hit my late teens and early 20’s. I also don’t want  him to be bullied any more than he’s already endured and I want him to enjoy activities outside of school and home.

We praise him like crazy at home on his successes at school. We praise his artwork and use words like “creative” and “interesting” and “unique” instead of just calling it “really good.” I laud his abilities with the baby to anyone who’ll listen and Mr. Tonks and I freely admit when we’ve made mistakes. In fact I really try to point them out to JP and act as blasé as possible so he knows that we mess up too, that it’s okay and that it’s no big deal. All that aside, I feel like we need to do something more to help him and I don’t have a clue where to start.

tonks

Cutest donut ever

Check out Laggin’s unbelievable sewing skillz. Were it not for her, I don’t know that little Miss SG would’ve been a donut. Here she is in all her pink sparkly glory (with hair dyed pink to match)…

Leap of faith

Lately I’ve been giving a lot of thought to chucking our current life out the window. Thinking about Mr. Tonks quitting his job with a Jerry McGuire inspired missive so he can pursue painting and contract design work. Thinking about finding a part-time job that would allow me to be with the baby mostly full-time (I hate the thought of daycare, plus it’s so damned expensive) that would provide us with a little money and benefits. Thinking about selling our house and living small so that we can ultimately enjoy more things that this world has to offer. I’d like to think we’d all be much happier and on the surface these notions seem fabulous. I mean, why not? Unfortunately those little words- why not- are the kicker. I can think of thousands upon thousands of (scary) reasons why not and the top three are JP, SG and XC. But every single day that leap of faith seems ever more tempting. Why not?

Terribly uppity

It drives me bat shit crazy when people spell words improperly on Facebook. I have to fight the urge to send them an e-mail that says, “Hey, WRECK is not spelled W-R-E-A-K. Just thought you should know.” It happens often enough that it kind of makes me want to cry because I’m completely dismayed by the fact that they simply can’t spell words my first grader could manage. I’m thinking of keeping a list of the most commonly misspelled words and posting a note, tagging all my friends. But that would be bitchy. So I won’t.

Ack!

The baby is crawling!

 

Just stick a fork in me

‘Cause I’m done.

The baby is teething, has a cold/ virus, an ear infection, diarrhea from the antibiotic and is working overtime to figure out crawling. This means we have a baby boy who’s not sleeping.

Halloween is fast approaching and I’m still working on the damn donut. Laggin (my personal sewing angel) made SG’s donut and I park myself on the floor most nights and hot glue hundreds upon hundreds of sequins (I tried sewing at first which was utterly and ridiculously tedious) onto the pink fleece frosting. I’m taking SG to a beauty supply store today to buy pink and purple hair dye which we’ll do Thursday. She’s going to be adorable but I’m also appreciative that the boys are donning store-bought costumes and don’t require mini-makeovers.

Oh, I’ve had some e-mails and, yes, Mr. Tonks still has a job. For now. I’m not sure who’s biding their time more: Mr. Tonks or the principles at his firm. We’re holding out hope on a local firm but that’s about the only lead there is right now. Anybody want to hire an architect? Or an artist? How about a freelance writer or copy editor? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller…Bueller…Bueller…

There are 65 days left in 2009. I’ve never looked more forward to a New Year’s in my entire life.

 

Scones

I’m simply addicted to these scones*. They’re perfect for a cool fall morning breakfast. Make them the night before and zap them in the microwave for about 10 seconds before you eat them. YUM.

Soak 1.5 C of dried cherries in warm water while you mix everything else (or 1/2 cherries and 1/2 choc chips)

Preheat oven to 375

Mix the following:
4 C flour
1/2 C brown sugar**
1.5t salt
1 t baking soda
cut in two sticks of butter
add drained cherries to this – mix through well

In another bowl mix:
2 C sour cream
2 t almond extract
2 egg yolks
Mix well, then add to the other bowl of ingredients.

Scoop with an ice cream scoop onto cookie sheet and bake for about 13-15 minutes or until set, but do not overbake.

*Thank you for the recipe, Pam!

**Next time I make these I’m going to try the following, healthier, substitutes: wheat flour for white flour, agave for brown sugar, applesauce for butter and plain yogurt for sour cream.